I recently saw an ad for a hollywood film scheduled for release. The trailer begins something to the tune of some guys having a crazy party and not able to remember what happened. I initially thought of "The Hangover" except this one had a twist. They don't remember what happened but they started partying in 2010 and woke up in 1980!!!!!!!!!! A joke from the film included in the trailer was one where the main character loses it when, after asking what color michael jackson is, he recieves the answer "he is black".
My prophecy for this film is that it will be the worst of the decade, century, millenia, whatever... and i would like to go on record at this point to make a note of it, if, for no other reason, to say i told you so.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I would like to submit this piece, despite it not being my own, for discussion
I just found this piece on craigslist. It was written by someone in portland and posted to the "best-of" section which I read religiously for it is always good for a laugh and often a wonderful glimpse into the world of everyday people who are extraordinarily gifted writers and, in this case, revolutionaries.
I hate what America has become
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-10-28, 9:58PM PDT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are so many reasons that frankly, it's hard to pick a place to start:
First of all.....when 28% of you brain dead fucking morons give a blithering IDIOT like Sarah Palin positive approval ratings and think she ought to run for president in 2012, it really makes me sick to know I am lumbered with that many mouth-breathing Cro-Magnons I unfortunately have to consider as my fellow countrymen....trust me.....I don't. You motherfuckers are beyond help.
And before you go thinking this is a "liberal" based rant.....that brings me to one more item on an ever-lengthening list.
This "Liberal" versus "Conservative" paradigm that so many of you simple dunces buy into.....as BOTH parties sell you out to the multinational corporations, banks and special interests that actually run Washington D.C.).....you do this STUPID dance every day, blithely detatched from the reality that YOU YOURSELF are helping to DIVIDE AND CONQUER the nation, as you myopically beat your little Hannity/Olberman drum of FUTILE self -righteous indignation. PATHETIC.
THIS is a nation of PUSSIES AND FUCKING COWARDS. If this nation had any BALLS WHATSOEVER, there would be a trail of DEAD MEN SWINGING FROM THE ENDS OF ROPES leading from AIG, thru WALL STREET, the not-so "Federal" reserve, the 9/11 commission, and right through every other set-up con-job you people just buy into like a bunch of CATTLE BEING LED TO SLAUGHTER.
It's not that Americans don't give a fuck.....every misled, misdirected group that goes out and crusades for the "Grand Cause" they think is responsible for the decimation of this ONCE great nation proves that.....the problem IS that the problem ISN'T illegal aliens (i.e. Minutemen) or Democrats in Washington (i.e. Teabaggers) or conservative policies (i.e. Code Pink).......the problem is ...... AMERICANS THEMSELVES.
AMERICANS have sat on THEIR ASSES while Washington and the Pentagon have BANKRUPTED THE TREASURY and sent our sons and daughters into MEAT GRINDERS in Iraq and Afghanistan for WMD's and connections to 9/11 that did NOT EXIST and even AFTER the overwhelming evidence that the intel was "swept all up" (doctored, falsified, unreliable) you STUPID SHEEP keep buying into the BRAIN DEAD notion that somehow, these wars are for the FREEDOM of America.
You're an IDIOT. They're wars for EMPIRE.
Your son's and daughter's BLOOD is being used as OIL to grease an evil, out of control WAR MACHINE....Your money and financial security is being DEVOURED by Wall St. and the Federal Reserve, with collusion from YOUR ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES, and your standard of living is slowly eroding into a two-class system as the middle class is being FORCED INTO EXTINCTION......
......and you do NOTHING to stop ANY of it.
You ignorant FOOLS who send shotgun Emails to all your friends warning of "death panels" and other such HEALTH INSURANCE INDUSTRY PROPAGANDA, yes, you friggin' GOMERS actually think the Health Insurance Industry has your best interests in mind, and it's "dat mean ol' gubmint" that wants to penalize you by providing your family health care that isn't profit-based.
MEDICARE only got passed because it effectively REMOVED the highest-risk group to the insurance providers (the elderly) from the 'pool' of prospective insurees, thereby minimizing their financial exposure. It's completely lost on most people that catastrophic illness is the main reason for personal bankruptcy....and that 75% of those who had to file HAD health insurance.
And this is the 'status quo' many of you are defending. You are BEYOND dense.
America has lost it's HONOR, as well as it's collective senses. I don't wish upon America any malice or catastrophe.....trust me, this is happening with assistance and collusion from the top down, not from some Arab in a cave. I just want to leave peacefully and live in a place that doesn't have leaders that hope for a "catastrophic and catalyzing event" to promote a war agenda that takes pride in kicking the shit out of unarmed peasants living in the dirt....then blames them for retaliating. Can't wait to see this dysfunctional madhouse in my rear view mirror.
When you abide by a system of government that you FULLY EXPECT will side AGAINST YOU and WITH corporate lobbyists (MANY of whom represent interests that are not even from the USA) who BRIBE THEM WITH BALES OF CASH....and are working 24/7 to maximize their profits and minimize their potential competition in the marketplace.....all at the expense of you and your family....and don't lift a FINGER to do ANYTHING TO CHANGE IT......you fucking DESERVE WHAT'S COMING. What might that be.....?
Think Germany and the treaty of Versailles.....when a wheelbarrow full of Deutschmarks is what it took to buy a MEAL.
WHEN the dollar collapses.....not IF, WHEN.....THAT'S when you'll really begin to see the true definition of FASCISM. The unity of government and corporations to economically and militarily control it's people. History WILL repeat itself....but if you're like so many of the morons in the USA who think they're so smart but don't know SHIT.....it will all be NEW TO YOU. Good luck.....you'll need it.
This is the most ARROGANT nation in EXISTANCE, second only to ISRAEL....and since ALL of our politicians are falling over backwards to kiss Israel's ASS on a daily basis, fully knowing that exposing any inconvenient TRUTH about them equals political SUICIDE....that and the mass media in America that feeds it's daily ration of BULLSHIT is controlled by individuals biased towards them as well....ANYONE who thinks they know what is going on because they read TIME magazine and watch CNN, FOX news OR MSNBC.....you are DELUSIONAL.
One nation under God....? What a JOKE.
MONEY is God here pal....even people who are reading this who hate the words I typed KNOW this is true. What does it say in your bible about the love of money? The root of all evil, no?
How DARE this nation question human rights abuses of other nations after Abu Ghraib and countless other bombing and torture campaigns, where it was stated it is passable to crush the testicles of young boys in front of their fathers to extract information.
How DARE this nation deign to be the world's nuclear police when WE are the only nation to ever USE NUKES.
MOST of you actually consider Palestinians as TERRORISTS, when it is THEY who have been occupied, imprisoned behind 25 foot high concrete walls and denied basic human decency by APARTHEID ISRAEL. Those of you who get your info from American media REMAIN IGNORANT OF THE TRUTH.
You're probably wondering if I'm some Arab, or other person hostile to "America's Freedoms" lol.... Yeah, you're really free here.......
Free to go BANKRUPT if you get sick, even if you HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE.
Free to vote on DIEBOLD voting machines that can flip elections and leave no paper trail.
Free to watch your life savings DWINDLE AND EVAPORATE into the pockets of the ROBBER BARONS you PATRONIZE.
Free to watch your JOB get shipped to CHINA....and then you fucking FOOLS buy the goods PRODUCED FORM THOSE JOBS at Wal Mart, further REWARDING AND ENCOURAGING businesses to CONTINUE this pattern. I have never bought a fucking THING from Wal-Mart, and if you have.....you are a simple, stupid FUCKSTICK.
You're free to be video monitored, photographed by the millisecond at traffic light traps, electronically surveiled, searched with no warrant, shaken down and partially disrobed at airports, free to be told how much shampoo you are allowed to carry in your luggage, free to buy processed foods that give you cancer, genetically altered vegetables that contain neat things like INSECT DNA, free to pay more than ANY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET for pharmeceuticals, free to be the pharmaceutical company's guinea pig for drugs that have potentially catastrophic side effects, free to have PUBLIC POLICY DICTATED TO YOU by government 'officials' that have dual citizenship with ISRAEL, free to have ANY MEANINGFUL TRUTH WITHHELD FROM YOU by the mass media......
.....and free to be one of the ONE OUT OF EVERY HUNDRED AMERICANS living in PRISON.
Land of the free, home of the brave??
More like land of the SHEEP and home of the SLAVE.
I hate what America has become
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-10-28, 9:58PM PDT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are so many reasons that frankly, it's hard to pick a place to start:
First of all.....when 28% of you brain dead fucking morons give a blithering IDIOT like Sarah Palin positive approval ratings and think she ought to run for president in 2012, it really makes me sick to know I am lumbered with that many mouth-breathing Cro-Magnons I unfortunately have to consider as my fellow countrymen....trust me.....I don't. You motherfuckers are beyond help.
And before you go thinking this is a "liberal" based rant.....that brings me to one more item on an ever-lengthening list.
This "Liberal" versus "Conservative" paradigm that so many of you simple dunces buy into.....as BOTH parties sell you out to the multinational corporations, banks and special interests that actually run Washington D.C.).....you do this STUPID dance every day, blithely detatched from the reality that YOU YOURSELF are helping to DIVIDE AND CONQUER the nation, as you myopically beat your little Hannity/Olberman drum of FUTILE self -righteous indignation. PATHETIC.
THIS is a nation of PUSSIES AND FUCKING COWARDS. If this nation had any BALLS WHATSOEVER, there would be a trail of DEAD MEN SWINGING FROM THE ENDS OF ROPES leading from AIG, thru WALL STREET, the not-so "Federal" reserve, the 9/11 commission, and right through every other set-up con-job you people just buy into like a bunch of CATTLE BEING LED TO SLAUGHTER.
It's not that Americans don't give a fuck.....every misled, misdirected group that goes out and crusades for the "Grand Cause" they think is responsible for the decimation of this ONCE great nation proves that.....the problem IS that the problem ISN'T illegal aliens (i.e. Minutemen) or Democrats in Washington (i.e. Teabaggers) or conservative policies (i.e. Code Pink).......the problem is ...... AMERICANS THEMSELVES.
AMERICANS have sat on THEIR ASSES while Washington and the Pentagon have BANKRUPTED THE TREASURY and sent our sons and daughters into MEAT GRINDERS in Iraq and Afghanistan for WMD's and connections to 9/11 that did NOT EXIST and even AFTER the overwhelming evidence that the intel was "swept all up" (doctored, falsified, unreliable) you STUPID SHEEP keep buying into the BRAIN DEAD notion that somehow, these wars are for the FREEDOM of America.
You're an IDIOT. They're wars for EMPIRE.
Your son's and daughter's BLOOD is being used as OIL to grease an evil, out of control WAR MACHINE....Your money and financial security is being DEVOURED by Wall St. and the Federal Reserve, with collusion from YOUR ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES, and your standard of living is slowly eroding into a two-class system as the middle class is being FORCED INTO EXTINCTION......
......and you do NOTHING to stop ANY of it.
You ignorant FOOLS who send shotgun Emails to all your friends warning of "death panels" and other such HEALTH INSURANCE INDUSTRY PROPAGANDA, yes, you friggin' GOMERS actually think the Health Insurance Industry has your best interests in mind, and it's "dat mean ol' gubmint" that wants to penalize you by providing your family health care that isn't profit-based.
MEDICARE only got passed because it effectively REMOVED the highest-risk group to the insurance providers (the elderly) from the 'pool' of prospective insurees, thereby minimizing their financial exposure. It's completely lost on most people that catastrophic illness is the main reason for personal bankruptcy....and that 75% of those who had to file HAD health insurance.
And this is the 'status quo' many of you are defending. You are BEYOND dense.
America has lost it's HONOR, as well as it's collective senses. I don't wish upon America any malice or catastrophe.....trust me, this is happening with assistance and collusion from the top down, not from some Arab in a cave. I just want to leave peacefully and live in a place that doesn't have leaders that hope for a "catastrophic and catalyzing event" to promote a war agenda that takes pride in kicking the shit out of unarmed peasants living in the dirt....then blames them for retaliating. Can't wait to see this dysfunctional madhouse in my rear view mirror.
When you abide by a system of government that you FULLY EXPECT will side AGAINST YOU and WITH corporate lobbyists (MANY of whom represent interests that are not even from the USA) who BRIBE THEM WITH BALES OF CASH....and are working 24/7 to maximize their profits and minimize their potential competition in the marketplace.....all at the expense of you and your family....and don't lift a FINGER to do ANYTHING TO CHANGE IT......you fucking DESERVE WHAT'S COMING. What might that be.....?
Think Germany and the treaty of Versailles.....when a wheelbarrow full of Deutschmarks is what it took to buy a MEAL.
WHEN the dollar collapses.....not IF, WHEN.....THAT'S when you'll really begin to see the true definition of FASCISM. The unity of government and corporations to economically and militarily control it's people. History WILL repeat itself....but if you're like so many of the morons in the USA who think they're so smart but don't know SHIT.....it will all be NEW TO YOU. Good luck.....you'll need it.
This is the most ARROGANT nation in EXISTANCE, second only to ISRAEL....and since ALL of our politicians are falling over backwards to kiss Israel's ASS on a daily basis, fully knowing that exposing any inconvenient TRUTH about them equals political SUICIDE....that and the mass media in America that feeds it's daily ration of BULLSHIT is controlled by individuals biased towards them as well....ANYONE who thinks they know what is going on because they read TIME magazine and watch CNN, FOX news OR MSNBC.....you are DELUSIONAL.
One nation under God....? What a JOKE.
MONEY is God here pal....even people who are reading this who hate the words I typed KNOW this is true. What does it say in your bible about the love of money? The root of all evil, no?
How DARE this nation question human rights abuses of other nations after Abu Ghraib and countless other bombing and torture campaigns, where it was stated it is passable to crush the testicles of young boys in front of their fathers to extract information.
How DARE this nation deign to be the world's nuclear police when WE are the only nation to ever USE NUKES.
MOST of you actually consider Palestinians as TERRORISTS, when it is THEY who have been occupied, imprisoned behind 25 foot high concrete walls and denied basic human decency by APARTHEID ISRAEL. Those of you who get your info from American media REMAIN IGNORANT OF THE TRUTH.
You're probably wondering if I'm some Arab, or other person hostile to "America's Freedoms" lol.... Yeah, you're really free here.......
Free to go BANKRUPT if you get sick, even if you HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE.
Free to vote on DIEBOLD voting machines that can flip elections and leave no paper trail.
Free to watch your life savings DWINDLE AND EVAPORATE into the pockets of the ROBBER BARONS you PATRONIZE.
Free to watch your JOB get shipped to CHINA....and then you fucking FOOLS buy the goods PRODUCED FORM THOSE JOBS at Wal Mart, further REWARDING AND ENCOURAGING businesses to CONTINUE this pattern. I have never bought a fucking THING from Wal-Mart, and if you have.....you are a simple, stupid FUCKSTICK.
You're free to be video monitored, photographed by the millisecond at traffic light traps, electronically surveiled, searched with no warrant, shaken down and partially disrobed at airports, free to be told how much shampoo you are allowed to carry in your luggage, free to buy processed foods that give you cancer, genetically altered vegetables that contain neat things like INSECT DNA, free to pay more than ANY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET for pharmeceuticals, free to be the pharmaceutical company's guinea pig for drugs that have potentially catastrophic side effects, free to have PUBLIC POLICY DICTATED TO YOU by government 'officials' that have dual citizenship with ISRAEL, free to have ANY MEANINGFUL TRUTH WITHHELD FROM YOU by the mass media......
.....and free to be one of the ONE OUT OF EVERY HUNDRED AMERICANS living in PRISON.
Land of the free, home of the brave??
More like land of the SHEEP and home of the SLAVE.
Monday, December 14, 2009
kensington runestone
About 1100 Ad a group of kinghts rode into the deserts of jerusalem and conducted an excavation. They returned to the west with what they found and were proclaimed official knights of the religious sect by the pope, granting them unlimited power and influence. They then used their find to amass vast amounts of wealth, enough to fund a large amount of the crusades. Afterwards, being uncontrollably in debt, a lord ordered the slaughter of these knights on friday the 13th, possibly the origin of that stigma, instead of reimbursement. Many of them were tortured before they were killed. The remaining knights gathered together in their fleet of ships, amassed from the wealth funded by their find, and sailed away, never to be seen again. there is a chance that they traveled to scotland and fought with robert the bruce against the english and there is another chance, which is now being proven that they travelled to america and, perhaps, left their find.
Although I am not familiar with all of the exact details, the kensington runestone could be evidence that these knights, known commonly as the knights templar, came to america with their find, this possibly being the holy grail.
Although I am not familiar with all of the exact details, the kensington runestone could be evidence that these knights, known commonly as the knights templar, came to america with their find, this possibly being the holy grail.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
spanish that i know
hola
que pasa amigo
como estas?
muy bien
tienes una fuma
si muchas
detras!
no problema
la chica es muy bonita
si es mi mamacita
es mi novia
estas un mono grande
cuantos anos tienes?
tengo veinte ocho anos
eres viejo
si
es frio
hace veinte
es buena dia para una fiesta
no bien punta es loco
este bonita dia para una fiesta. bebemos muchas cervecas anoche a las fiesta en el veinte frio. motamos un fuego punta!
es loco amigo
voy a mi casa en mi coche. come mucha no tengo hambre.
voy a trabajar por la toda dia. estoy trajando por catorce horas.
Es mucho. por el restaurante eres un burro pequito.
tengo ir a mi casa y mi chica bonita.
hasta la vista mi amigo
hasta manana
salute
que pasa amigo
como estas?
muy bien
tienes una fuma
si muchas
detras!
no problema
la chica es muy bonita
si es mi mamacita
es mi novia
estas un mono grande
cuantos anos tienes?
tengo veinte ocho anos
eres viejo
si
es frio
hace veinte
es buena dia para una fiesta
no bien punta es loco
este bonita dia para una fiesta. bebemos muchas cervecas anoche a las fiesta en el veinte frio. motamos un fuego punta!
es loco amigo
voy a mi casa en mi coche. come mucha no tengo hambre.
voy a trabajar por la toda dia. estoy trajando por catorce horas.
Es mucho. por el restaurante eres un burro pequito.
tengo ir a mi casa y mi chica bonita.
hasta la vista mi amigo
hasta manana
salute
Monday, December 7, 2009
solar ink!!!! incredible green technology
check this out. solar ink. a breakthrough in green technology.
http://www.findportablesolarpower.com/solarenergy/solarink.html
What is Solar Ink?
Good question. Do you write with it?
No - but you probably could if you wanted to. The breakthrough is that it is actually printable.
Okay, not to confuse you any further. Solar Ink is a new method of dissolving tiny particles of silicon (nano particles, which are only a few atoms thick), into a solution which allows one to "print" solar panels (in extremely thin layers), onto all sorts of materials. It can be printed out by the acre, and is a fast process which would allow a vast quantity of solar paneling to be produced, at only a fraction of the current cost.
A solution such as the one above is exactly what we need in order to rapidly and inexpensively mass-produce solar panels.
The future for solar energy can be very bright - it's just a matter of what we do with it.
Thin Film Solar Panels
Solar ink is used to make thin film solar panels. These are flexible solar panels which can be rolled up and easily transported. They are a common solution as portable solar power for hiking and camping trips, since they are lightweight and can be easily rolled up and attached to the top of a backpack, or transported by hand.
To see several examples of solar ink in action, visit Thin Film Solar Panels.
http://www.findportablesolarpower.com/solarenergy/solarink.html
What is Solar Ink?
Good question. Do you write with it?
No - but you probably could if you wanted to. The breakthrough is that it is actually printable.
Okay, not to confuse you any further. Solar Ink is a new method of dissolving tiny particles of silicon (nano particles, which are only a few atoms thick), into a solution which allows one to "print" solar panels (in extremely thin layers), onto all sorts of materials. It can be printed out by the acre, and is a fast process which would allow a vast quantity of solar paneling to be produced, at only a fraction of the current cost.
A solution such as the one above is exactly what we need in order to rapidly and inexpensively mass-produce solar panels.
The future for solar energy can be very bright - it's just a matter of what we do with it.
Thin Film Solar Panels
Solar ink is used to make thin film solar panels. These are flexible solar panels which can be rolled up and easily transported. They are a common solution as portable solar power for hiking and camping trips, since they are lightweight and can be easily rolled up and attached to the top of a backpack, or transported by hand.
To see several examples of solar ink in action, visit Thin Film Solar Panels.
Monday, November 30, 2009
proof of alien life - tiahuanacu and puma punku
Amazing proof of technology that has yet to be equaled in modern times was being used in 15000 BC! In bolivia
http://www.world-mysteries.com/mpl_6.htm
http://www.world-mysteries.com/mpl_6.htm
interesting proof of alien life - antikythera
a crazy working clock mechanism from 200 BC!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antikythera_mechanism
The Antikythera mechanism (pronounced /ˌæntɪkɪˈθɪərə/ AN-ti-ki-THEER-ə), is an ancient mechanical calculator (also described as the first known mechanical computer)[1][2] designed to calculate astronomical positions. It was recovered in 1900–01 from the Antikythera wreck,[3] but its complexity and significance were not understood until decades later. It is now thought to have been built about 150–100 BC. Technological artifacts of similar complexity did not reappear until the 14th century, when mechanical astronomical clocks appeared in Europe.[4]
Jacques-Yves Cousteau visited the wreck for the last time in 1978,[5] but found no more remains of the Antikythera Mechanism. Professor Michael Edmunds of Cardiff University who led the most recent study of the mechanism said: "This device is just extraordinary, the only thing of its kind. The design is beautiful, the astronomy is exactly right. The way the mechanics are designed just makes your jaw drop. Whoever has done this has done it extremely carefully...in terms of historic and scarcity value, I have to regard this mechanism as being more valuable than the Mona Lisa."[6][7]
The device is displayed in the Bronze Collection of the National Archaeological Museum of Athens, accompanied by a reconstruction made and offered to the museum by Derek de Solla Price. Other reconstructions are on display at the American Computer Museum in Bozeman, Montana and the Children's Museum of Manhattan in New York and in Kassel, Germany.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antikythera_mechanism
The Antikythera mechanism (pronounced /ˌæntɪkɪˈθɪərə/ AN-ti-ki-THEER-ə), is an ancient mechanical calculator (also described as the first known mechanical computer)[1][2] designed to calculate astronomical positions. It was recovered in 1900–01 from the Antikythera wreck,[3] but its complexity and significance were not understood until decades later. It is now thought to have been built about 150–100 BC. Technological artifacts of similar complexity did not reappear until the 14th century, when mechanical astronomical clocks appeared in Europe.[4]
Jacques-Yves Cousteau visited the wreck for the last time in 1978,[5] but found no more remains of the Antikythera Mechanism. Professor Michael Edmunds of Cardiff University who led the most recent study of the mechanism said: "This device is just extraordinary, the only thing of its kind. The design is beautiful, the astronomy is exactly right. The way the mechanics are designed just makes your jaw drop. Whoever has done this has done it extremely carefully...in terms of historic and scarcity value, I have to regard this mechanism as being more valuable than the Mona Lisa."[6][7]
The device is displayed in the Bronze Collection of the National Archaeological Museum of Athens, accompanied by a reconstruction made and offered to the museum by Derek de Solla Price. Other reconstructions are on display at the American Computer Museum in Bozeman, Montana and the Children's Museum of Manhattan in New York and in Kassel, Germany.
on little children
so i don't want kids. maybe this will change but as of now i just cant understand it. it just seems like such a fruitless endeavor. bust my ass all my goddamn life to buy a nice house with a picket fence and a little fuckin dog. Use all my beer money to buy diapers and baby food cause you gotta feed these things, i guess.
And what thanks would i get? "Gee, thanks dad for buying this overpriced absorbant plastic that i wrap around myself so i can take a shit whenever i want." Wouldn't happen. Damn it. I want to take a shit whenever i want.
The reward ultimately is perhaps a smaller version of myself. Well, I'm not even especially fond of myself so another, whinier, helpless, more annoying version is not what this world needs. thank me now, because i just saved you a pain in the ass.
And what thanks would i get? "Gee, thanks dad for buying this overpriced absorbant plastic that i wrap around myself so i can take a shit whenever i want." Wouldn't happen. Damn it. I want to take a shit whenever i want.
The reward ultimately is perhaps a smaller version of myself. Well, I'm not even especially fond of myself so another, whinier, helpless, more annoying version is not what this world needs. thank me now, because i just saved you a pain in the ass.
i was thinking about getting a shopping cart
I was thinking about getting a shopping cart and bringing it with me wherever i go. I coupld out alot of my belongings in it, perhaps some clothes, and pictures of my relatives, so i could have them if necessary. It would be great because i could just hop into the cart and take a nap. Or if i found a nice bench i would have all the clothes and newspapers i would need to make myself quite comfortable, even some cardboard if it started to rain a little. I wouldn't even need a house. I only use it to keep my shit in, anyway.
the danger of the ducks
Ducks. When we think of ducks, we think of funny little birds with large bills. Right? Well, I’m here to say that they are a bit more than they seem. Actually, a lot more. The events I am going to relate here will be very hard to swallow. Just follow along and don’t stop ‘til the end.
It was abut 3 a.m. The buses had stopped. I was walking by the campus pond and had decided to go down and watch the ducks. I sat on a stone bench under a large tree and watched the ducks for several minutes. All of the little feathered things were flapping around and quacking their little quacks. Just normal harmless duck things. That is when it happened.
They came in from the sky in their large, silver disc like craft. The lights on it were flashing and there was peculiar hum that was barely detectable emanating from it. It came to a halt on the far side if the pond, right up to the edge of the water.
I saw them when they emerged.. From my vantage point from my bench under the trees, I was hidden and had a view of them. They were beings that were there but not there. They were ghostly beings, formless and colorless.
I wasn’t the only one that had noticed this large craft. The ducks were quacking and flapping their wings as the entire flock moved towards the craft and the forms. I heard clicking sounds from the beings that I guessed was their way of communicating. The flock finally settled in front of the aliens. I was surprised when one duck swam forward to the front of the flock and said to the beings in plain English,
“It’s about time you guys showed up! This long, stuck on this planet, in this get up of feathers and wings was starting to get to me. You left us here for 500 years. I thought the plan for an invasion was going to be put in effect 200 years ago. It’s about time. That ‘s why you guys are here, right?”.
The beings emitted more clicking sounds, which the ducks seemed to be listening to intently. Then the flock emitted a great amount of flapping and what sounded like laughing. It was obvious that the two groups were communicating. One of the beings went back into the craft and then emerged aging with what looked like a toy laser gun. The being aimed this at every duck one by one. When they were hit with this laser, the ducks instantly changed into one of the formless ghostly beings. They all were aliens.
I could not believe my eyes. This was just too much for me. I ran as swiftly and as quietly as I could from under the tree. I was not quiet enough. The entire group had their eyes on me. I kept running. They didn’t come after me.
The next day I was walking to the police station to report what I saw when a duck appeared in front of me. It looked me right in the eyes and in English again, said “We saw you last night. You will not tell anyone of our plans. I don not know how we did not detect you sooner. You are the one that could bring about our downfall. You will not live.” \
All around me ducks dive bombed me. I ran as fast as my feet could take me, dodging the ducks. That morning, I was pecked within an inch of my life.
Since them I have been on a crusade against the ducks. I tried to recruit many with no luck. I have fought ducks many times. I have tried to determine their plans, when they will make their move. I have not learned a thing. We must join together with me because it is the only hope against them. They will attack soon. We have no time to waste. Does anyone hear me? That is why you need to let me out of here. I am not crazy!!! You have to do something. Let me out. I am not crazy.”
Shut up! Inmate #47 you are giving me a headache. You’ve been yelling all day and I’ll send you to detention if you keep it up. Wait a minute, what is that quacking sound? Woah, the ducks, they’re everywhere!!! Help! Help!
It was abut 3 a.m. The buses had stopped. I was walking by the campus pond and had decided to go down and watch the ducks. I sat on a stone bench under a large tree and watched the ducks for several minutes. All of the little feathered things were flapping around and quacking their little quacks. Just normal harmless duck things. That is when it happened.
They came in from the sky in their large, silver disc like craft. The lights on it were flashing and there was peculiar hum that was barely detectable emanating from it. It came to a halt on the far side if the pond, right up to the edge of the water.
I saw them when they emerged.. From my vantage point from my bench under the trees, I was hidden and had a view of them. They were beings that were there but not there. They were ghostly beings, formless and colorless.
I wasn’t the only one that had noticed this large craft. The ducks were quacking and flapping their wings as the entire flock moved towards the craft and the forms. I heard clicking sounds from the beings that I guessed was their way of communicating. The flock finally settled in front of the aliens. I was surprised when one duck swam forward to the front of the flock and said to the beings in plain English,
“It’s about time you guys showed up! This long, stuck on this planet, in this get up of feathers and wings was starting to get to me. You left us here for 500 years. I thought the plan for an invasion was going to be put in effect 200 years ago. It’s about time. That ‘s why you guys are here, right?”.
The beings emitted more clicking sounds, which the ducks seemed to be listening to intently. Then the flock emitted a great amount of flapping and what sounded like laughing. It was obvious that the two groups were communicating. One of the beings went back into the craft and then emerged aging with what looked like a toy laser gun. The being aimed this at every duck one by one. When they were hit with this laser, the ducks instantly changed into one of the formless ghostly beings. They all were aliens.
I could not believe my eyes. This was just too much for me. I ran as swiftly and as quietly as I could from under the tree. I was not quiet enough. The entire group had their eyes on me. I kept running. They didn’t come after me.
The next day I was walking to the police station to report what I saw when a duck appeared in front of me. It looked me right in the eyes and in English again, said “We saw you last night. You will not tell anyone of our plans. I don not know how we did not detect you sooner. You are the one that could bring about our downfall. You will not live.” \
All around me ducks dive bombed me. I ran as fast as my feet could take me, dodging the ducks. That morning, I was pecked within an inch of my life.
Since them I have been on a crusade against the ducks. I tried to recruit many with no luck. I have fought ducks many times. I have tried to determine their plans, when they will make their move. I have not learned a thing. We must join together with me because it is the only hope against them. They will attack soon. We have no time to waste. Does anyone hear me? That is why you need to let me out of here. I am not crazy!!! You have to do something. Let me out. I am not crazy.”
Shut up! Inmate #47 you are giving me a headache. You’ve been yelling all day and I’ll send you to detention if you keep it up. Wait a minute, what is that quacking sound? Woah, the ducks, they’re everywhere!!! Help! Help!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
