on little children

so i don't want kids. maybe this will change but as of now i just cant understand it. it just seems like such a fruitless endeavor. bust my ass all my goddamn life to buy a nice house with a picket fence and a little fuckin dog. Use all my beer money to buy diapers and baby food cause you gotta feed these things, i guess.
And what thanks would i get? "Gee, thanks dad for buying this overpriced absorbant plastic that i wrap around myself so i can take a shit whenever i want." Wouldn't happen. Damn it. I want to take a shit whenever i want.
The reward ultimately is perhaps a smaller version of myself. Well, I'm not even especially fond of myself so another, whinier, helpless, more annoying version is not what this world needs. thank me now, because i just saved you a pain in the ass.